ige 16 HIGH GEAR AUGUST 1981

Ears on wheels

By JEANNETTE LAKEWOOD-Where Else?)Just flew in to pick up some items or the wedding-my tiara, gowns, and Lube. So, I'll be quick. Look or all the details of my excursion o London in September's issue. Two admirers recently treated me to an evening in Akron at Keney. I was picked-up in a gorgeous limousine (I wish I had been forewarned that it was greenI wouldn't have worn my orange gown) and whisked off to 1 scrumptious dinner at, what else, a Fish Fry-how elegant! Then, talk of nerve, I was given a guided tour of the tenements of Broadview Heights-just exactly what i always wanted, how did you two know? The show was great-even better after curtain when I was privileged to see an old friend who was in the cast. Seriously, Ray and Don, I thank you a lot-i enjoyed myself immensely-even though it did take hours to get there. Where did you say Akron was, just north of Dayton?

After my trip to Cedar Point with the Stallions, I returned for a second helping and this time was even wilder. Turkeys followed me around for most of the

day-and all I did was gobble one time! The cows in the pet farm will never be the same eitherthey truly believe I'm their mother. L.B. tried her best to "Shoot The Rapids" upsidedown, Patti got locked into her "Blue Streak" seat and had a few moments of heart failure, and Tom tried to stay calm, cool, and collected while riding the "Gemini." It was a fun day, but I don't think Cedar Point will let me past the front gate again.

Recently seen at Higbee's Westgate was a child running around the cosmetics counter with his mother chasing after him. The poor child tripped and grabbed for the nearest thing-a male, in shorts, making a purchase. More than the man's "pride" was lost-talk about revealing. I don't think I could have coped.

One quick tidbit from Londonwhile lunching at The Savoy, I met a very interesting and charming gentleman who politely asked me, "Would you like some luncheon company?" Being of sound mind and body, I naturally said, "YES!" After four hours of an agreeing conversation about our beliefs of the three "C's"-we

There's plenty... at the SIX-TWENTY.

SHOW NITE

STARRING

and

MONA

DESMOND

KIM

620 Club

AUGUST 23

10:00 PM

FREE GUARDED

620 Frankfort, Cleveland

241-9719

PARKING

missed. (P.S., I just love your new take 13? Talk about kinkyboth decided that a hurried wedcologne-it's absolutely intoxicat-... George, do tell about your new ding would be fabulous. But on ing!)...Diana Soul, so that's what toy. Does it really take a 36-volt the way to Westminster Abbey, you do in your spare timebattery? John G., has Guinness discovered that his three "C's". Thanks, Cathy C., for all the been notified? Surely this is a were "Christ, Commitment, and luscious dirt...Crystal, a star by new world's record. Robble, Caring." Let me tell you, I never any other name still shines you're getting better every dayhiked my skirt so fast-the whole brightly. Happy Birthday to Mary love you...Miss Gregg, your taste time I was with him, I thought he and to Nancy. I wish you both is impeccable-but what do you was talking about my three "C's" many, many more... Kenny and do for an encore? Big D., I still "Champagne, Caviar, and Cash!" David, we really do have to stop can't believe, after all these Next time, I'll make sure to ask meeting like this...Dan K., sorry years, that you're still a what's meant by "The Three to hear about your father. My "Beginner." Lefty, are you sure 'C's." deepest sympathy...Congratulait's not on the wrong side? You tions to the new board members certainly could fool me. Sally, of GEAR. Welcome Aboard! Fred what are you getting in those B., you're just too clever for me. English CARE packages these Bill M., why does your car know days, the crown jewels, maybe? the route to Rochester so well? Prospect must be getting dangerous-why else would Miss T. stay at home so much?

Enough of my boring life, here's this month's dirt... Juan R., you look better each time...Lou, please remember, men are not like shoes-you don't try them on before trying them out...Mark, Ray, and Don, have you recovered yet from the weekend at Cedar Point? The Hotel Breakers gave you it's very first "House Check"-just what was going on? Rich, did you really think you

Do Tell

I've heard that Keys will be changing their entertainment format on August 1st-look for a new kind of "G-string" during cocktail hour. Charlle T., are you going to trade yours for a new one? Cliff, why are you staying out all night, could it be a new job? Shame on you, John! Letters like that went out-of-fashion during World War II...Miss Pat, your true age is finally coming to light-the high school yearbooks do reveal the truth. You certainly were a young-looking 24 years old freshman...Carlos, let's get things straight-the name's Bruce. Bill, have you been leaning on any "high TV's" lately? Cuyahoga Ltd. looked so good at the Conventry Street Fair. But why did they hide you behind the Bar-B-Que stand; they didn't think you were "ham" did they? So, "Rita Reads..."-well, Jeannette Jeers...Just when you thought Watergate had ended, another set of tapes is about to surface that will cause quite a ruckus. Where is Mary Jane Woods when you need her? There are so many divorces in this town lately that Marvin Mitchelson is rumored to be setting up an office here. Even ex-exexes have been included in some settlements. And I've been told that Tegan will have a hard time selling his half-pool...

could out-"foxin" me? Next time you stick your nose where it doesn't belong, you just might lose it. Sorry, Ginger-it should have been "Gidget"...So, that's why they call you "Never Ontime Tom." It sure does take you a long time...Ken, where are you with your motor home? People are still lining up for more trips to the country...G., just remember that "low class" is still better than no class!...L.B. and K.N., you two are the only straight women | know who can cause a major scene when two "hot" men chase after you. Please, why couldn't it have been me?... Bob and Dwight, is there a merger of carriers in the making, or are you just discussing "coverage" Tony, why are you whistling "Second Time Around"; has Eric returned from the dear? Jason, people with three first names should be outlawed ... Bill B., welcome back from out west. Is California really as wild as we hear? T.J., please try to cool your jets-the world isn't ready for "Timmieander" Black Beauty, remember that you are loved. We've been there before and we're all willing to help... Peter, your new image looks great-keep it up, it's better that way...

Frank and Sam, throwing drinks on each other is no way to cool off...Ohio State Don, you may only be 37, but you do look every day of it. Thanks to Lucille, so I'm told, a wedding for Ruth and Cher will take place at Our Lady of the Vapors. But just exactly what is an "amyl nitrate" reception? Karen and Marge, you two do look good together. Richard, not to worry, with your looks and personality someone worth your while will soon come into your life... What's this, Lucille, Cleveland's losing you to San Francisco? You will be

After Tom M.'s recent visit to Phillie the town will truly live up to its name of "The City of Brotherly Love." Maxinne, sorry about the misspelling last month. If you're still puzzled about which tattoo to choose, go with U.S.D.A. Choice-it's more appropriate. Doug, why are your Saturday afternoons so busy? Is it housework? Lilly, you aren't the only one to misplace important numbers. Larry cried for days over his recent loss. Richard, try to remember that your peripheral vision might get you into trouble one of these days. David, please try sitting upit really does work better that way. Mike, since when does it

IT'S A DOG'S LIFE

BROOKPARK.

MOTIVATIONAL TRAINING FROM THE DOG'S VIEWPOINT

WARRENSVILLE HEIGHTS,

851-1198

WILLOUGHBY

TERRY MILLER 918 DRESDEN ROAD CLEVELAND HTS,

Rob, heard about your magic act. Is it true that someone's eyes were quicker than your hands? D., please feed your washing machine. It might stop eating your clothes if you do...Keith B., don't worry, it's just a bad case of gas...C., whoever called you a singing monkey is so wrongmonkeys sing on key... Mary, does Vince know about all those men while he was away? Sandy, are you sure you're not a voyeur? Katle, I love the new "butch"-it looks good on you...Shellie L., I hear you're considering adoption-will this one be named "B.L. 11?" Feffery, how are things in Akron? Mark, why are you so clumsy? Ron, how is it now that you're certified for elementary school? Don't worry, all beginners are a bit rough around the edges... Cleveland is about to be host to a new theme for an old game show, Queen For A Day. And guess who is the emcee? That's rightJeannette! After all, who else in Cleveland would be asked if not the "Queen of the May." Larry, I do love those $10 payoffs.

Richie, so nice to see you back in circulation. Did you tire of all those heads"? George, is that really your ex-wife? Charles, what was "lost-and-found" in Washington? It must have been quite a "memorial" trip. C. is still drooling after Scott's date with Tony. By the way, who's cutting the grass this week? If Toledo is so hot, then why is Michael in Cleveland so much?...G.F., I heard about F.R. and almost lost my pearly whites. I laughed so hard I didn't think I'd ever stopbest of luck...Hitler, is it true that Eva is really the power behind all?

Special Note to Robert Allan Hunter: I almost cancelled my column this month to write an essay about your "illiterary venture" in July's issue, but decided not to waste my time on "TRASH." Although in agreement with you in a very few minor ways, I must say that you present yourself as quite juvenileminded and as an egocentric pessimist who should consider suicide for emigrating before you're strung-up by those of us who are boosters of Cleveland. One thing about people like you keeps popping up in my mind"Body by Fisher; Brain by Tinkertoy."

Must run-The Concord leaves in a few hours. I'll give all the "Queens" your love-see you in September.